Oct. 9, 2010

it's official

2010-03-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

We are officially permitted by the church to be married!*

Meeting with Father Ed and Father Mel was always nerve-wracking. We never knew what to expect. Out first meeting with each of them was actually pretty casual. We just told them a little bit about ourselves - our background, our families, our jobs, how we met, etc. Nothing intimidating as some may make it out to be (e.g. Licensed to Wed).

We underwent Pre-Cana - attended the DMPP class for 8+ hours one Saturday, where we completed our pre-marital FOCCUS inventory, basically a compatibility test, which we scored pretty well on, "Oh, yes, very well," according to Father Mel. We also went on our Engaged Encounter Weekend at Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside. It was an interesting weekend talking to each other about stuff we wouldn't usually sitdown and talk about. I wondered, with 45 or so other couples, if those talking points had ever been addressed previously in their relationship. For the most part, Hai and I had talked about a lot of the stuff already so much of it wasn't really anything new. And I would hope that it would be that way, after 5 years!

And, to top it all off, we essentially said our vows today! Well, at least our intention to say our vows on The Day. So, to show that we are entering our marriage freely, we agreed to our intentions solely in front of Fr. Mel, so not yet in front of each other - of course that is being saved for The Day.

*Last formality we need to accomplish - Marriage License! But those are only good for 3 months from date of issuance (just in case some folks change their mind?), so remind us to get it August!

overwhelmed

2010-02-08T13:44:00.000-08:00

"I know you can be under whelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed?" i remember this every time i'm feeling overwhelmed. cracks me up inside.

decisions, decisions. too many to make.

just when we thought we had things under control, things started falling apart at the seams.

The Church - still good-to-go but just a little uncertain as to who our pastor will be. Father Ed went on sabbatical for 6 months, starting last December, for medical reasons. Hopefully he'll recover well and be able to return in June. If not, Father Mel is also great pastor.
The Reception Venue - we thought we were going to change it to Jasmine but that turned out to be pretty expensive, too. So we're sticking with our original decision but modifying some things to make it more affordable.
The Wedding Dress - I got it last month and just tried it on recently... turns out we forgot to take my under-the-bust measurement. So, of course, the dress fits everywhere else but there. I guess it's my fault - I took a gamble on having my dress made in the Philippines - but, really, what kind of dressmaker just assumes a measurement??
The Groom's Suit - we will probably go custom-made for this since the price isn't all that bad. It's about the same as something off-the-rack at, say, J.Crew. Large-chain retailers, though, like Men's Warehouse, Men's Fashion Depot, or 3 Day Suit Broker, have some good deals, too. Homeboy just needs to make a decision and stick to it. He keeps changing his mind on what color he's going to wear and, in turn, what his groomsmen will be wearing.
The Bridesmaid Dresses - still debating between two choices for color but leaning more towards one, and the fabric is also still undecided. Hopefully a decision on this, this weekend.

the venues were the first things we booked. then our photographers. now we have a videographer in the works, a DJ that won't send a contract, and a meeting with our stationer... it's coming together.. slowly but surely... but always feels like we end up back at square-one.

i had a nightmare last night, with regards to our reception. that's probably why i'm not in a great mood today... feeling overwhelmed by all the decisions we have to make this month about where we have our reception, what we serve and how we serve it, and what we're wearing. it's overwhelming... basically the 'tone' of our wedding is on the line. it all has to just "go together."

some things we've realized in the past few months.

"the true cost of an average wedding" is absolutely ridiculous. abso-freakin-lutely. RIDICULOUS. so let me be the first to say that there will be nothing "average" about our wedding.
there are only a few things we really care about a.) the wedding ceremony, b.) the people with us, c.) having a great time, and d.) capturing it all... via pictures, video, and memory... not only for ourselves but also for our family.
our wedding is OUR wedding. not anyone elses. and it doesn't matter what any one else has to say about our ceremony, reception... wedding day, in general. the important part here is the marriage, not the materials that make up the celebration.
if people don't want to show up, then oh well. we aren't going to throw a fit. but we will throw a fit if they skip the ceremony and go straight to the reception. don't even try it.
if we can't invite people, then we can't invite them. end of story. they should be grown-ass-enough adults to know enough that it is nothing personal. they can't be judging if they don't even know what it's like. heck, if we don't/didn't get invited to their wedding, fine by us! but we still wish(ed) them the best.

sigh...

"don't sweat the small stuff"

2009-12-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

Father Mel advised us in yesterday's homily that all these anxieties are essentially unimportant in our daily lives. He encouraged us to rid our spirit of these anxieties because they only prevent us from experiencing the joys that God brings us every day. Father Mel cautions us that when we choose to carry anxiety over all of our joys, we are wandering from God's blessings and being drawn towards sin.

After mass, I was re-evaluating some of the anxieties that I currently have. And, sadly, the biggest cause of my tension was this wedding. Of all things, a marriage should not cause one to be anxious but joyful. Why should we have so much anxiety about the celebration of our marriage?! The main reason, however, why we have these anxieties is because of our guest list. Not that I am implying that any of our friends or family are "small" but the big picture here is that we are getting married. Right? We have large families (it's that "old-school, Asian" thing), and we have a lot of friends, and, as much as we'd like to invite every one, we simply cannot afford it (nor can our humble venues accommodate it).

Our next goal, in the coming month(s), is to have our invitations designed and ordered. However, we can't place an order until we know how many we need.... so our first goal, above all, is to finalize an invitation list. Wish us luck.

I asked our co-worker, who is getting married in May, how things are coming along for him & his fiancee. He said he just ordered their invitations, so I asked him how many they are inviting. He said 250. I commented that he's lucky, and that we're hoping to get it that low but right now it's looking like 300, which is the maximum capacity of our venues. & he replied that 250 is too much. 200 is too much. He said that at some point, a line has to be drawn so that things don't get out of hand. He's essentially 5 months ahead of us in the whole planning thing so he's got 5 more months of decisions and emotions done and gone through. & so I figure that a decision will be made, and I will be firm, because in the long-run, we can't let this thing get out of hand. & he said, "They can't be mad at you for that long..." and even if they are, they weren't worth inviting to the wedding in the first place.

Happy Engagement Anniversary!

2009-12-12T00:12:00.000-08:00

One year ago today, we were in a dark apartment in the middle of Queens. Outside, it was pouring rain, and about 12 degrees. Needless to say, we were cold, wet, and tired. Little did I know, though, I was about to get all warm and fuzzy inside. :o)

this weekend

2009-11-06T15:24:00.000-08:00

I am going to get my craft on. Maybe I can get Hai to participate...

Let's see what I (/we) manage to produce come Monday.

Wish me (/us) luck! :)

And so it begins

2009-10-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

The horrific nightmares. The ones where you're not prepared. The ones where nothing is the way you wanted it. The ones where you can't do anything, everything is out of (your) control, what's done is done, and the show must go on.

Yes, we are less than a year out and the wedding-day nightmares have begun. Only two so far but they are no laughing matter. There have been occasions in my life where I truly feel that I've had déjà vu, that I vaguely remember dreaming about a particular situation before and then, there it is, happening right in front of me. Luckily, none of those situations were particularly frightening so I'm hoping these nightmares are nothing but entertainment in my sleep. Hopefully.

It is the morning of our wedding. Everyone is getting dressed and ready for a marathon-day ahead of them. There are people everywhere – the bridal party is dressed up, looking good, but will not stop asking me questions! How do I look? Are you almost ready? What is this for? Where do these go? Do we need that? Who, what, when, where, why, how?
The ring-bearer is throwing a fit, in his little suit, wailing on the stairs. Everyone just steps over him on our way down to the cars that will transport us to our wedding. He continues flailing his arms and legs... hopefully this unrecognizable ring bearer is picked up and calmed down by his parents. Not sure. We're out on the street, waiting for a car to pick us up. Did we even book any transportation services? Everyone scrambles to their cars and then the melt-down begins. What are we doing? I DON' T KNOW!!! Where do we go? YOU WERE JUST THERE (AT THE REHEARSAL) LAST NIGHT! Am I supposed to bring anything? I DON'T KNOW!?!! Where are my flowers? I DON'T KNOW!!! Why are we dressed in purple and orange?! OH MY FREAKIN'-GOSH, I DON'T KNOW!!!! AND WHY IS MY WEDDING DRESS ORANGE!?!!

So what does my mind to compensate the obvious horror that would be an orange wedding dress? Well, lucky ol' me, my mind was nice and gave me a white dress in my next nightmare. Now... white dress but still a nightmare?? Can't be any worse than an orange dress, right? I dunno, it might be a tie. Let me tell you why - I LOOKED LIKE A FLOWER GIRL. The dress that my mom had made in the Philippines - the dress that's supposed to look like the dress in the magazine cut-out that I gave her before she left - was short. Like just-below-the-knee short. And the proportions were just all wrong. In my nightmare, it turns out like this - my mom had my dress made in the Philippines (this is IRL, too) but for some reason, the measurements were all off. So there I am, excited to see the dress that my grandma brings back. First look, and I get worried. The fabric is nice, the details are pretty, but it just doesn't look quite right. "Just try it on," and so I do. And it's all wrong. And I'm freaking out. And the more I freak out, the more freaky the dress gets. Next thing I know, I'm looking at an orange dress again! GO AWAY!!!

I know we're getting married in the fall and all but why the orange?! Somebody save me from this orange madness.

Countdown:

2009-09-01T14:37:00.001-07:00

1 year, 1 month, 1 week, 1 day!

Fun, fun!!!

(p.s. Happy Birthday, Madel!)

2009-08-26T12:10:00.000-07:00

Floral.

Any recommendations?

We booked a photographer!

2009-08-24T15:20:00.000-07:00

What a loooong process! Who knew there were so many well-qualified (and under-qualified) wedding photographers in San Diego/Southern California!

We began interviewing photographers on July 23rd (on-line research commenced well before that). After a whole month after our first interview, we made a final decision on a photographer and we are suuuuuuper excited about it!!! One thing you always have to keep in mind - do not make the mistake of sacrificing quality for price. Most of the time, you do get what you pay for - and we've seen that several times, in both good and bad quality. But we totally lucked out in booking our photographer. This husband-and-wife duo are wonderful - we love their personalities, their perspectives, their portfolio, their products, their whole package! - and we are totally looking forward to getting in front of the camera. It was difficult telling other photographers that we weren't going to book with them - everyone is just so kind and everyone brought something different to the table. Heck, if Hai and I had it our way, we'd book them all! But due to exclusivity agreements and lack of funds, we had to choose only one and luckily we met one that we feel had personalities and a portfolio that would fit in perfectly.

Like we've told all of the photographers that we interviewed, photography is one of the most important - if not The most important - aspects of our wedding when it comes to choosing a vendor. We interviewed and inquired with about two dozen photographers (my spreadsheet is quite extensive) and we really took note on, not only what products and services they have to offer, but their personalities and their potential. Because not only do we want great pictures, we also want to really have a relationship with our photographers. We want them to be people that we can be friends with! After all, they will be with us the ENTIRE day (and then some!), sharing in every celebration, tear, and laugh. This was a big decision for me and Hai to make. The church - no question. The venue - it was our second choice but it's all working out perfectly. The photographer - it was tough but we have every bit of confidence that they will be nothing short of awesome.

Hai and I were excited about getting married before but now that we've found such cool photographers, we are 10x more excited to get this show on the road!!!

Engagement Party!

2009-02-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all of our family and friends who were able to attend our engagement party! What a day it was!

Our day started early and ended pretty late but we were sure glad to see everyone and we really appreciate all the love and support. A lot of people have asked us how the wedding planning is going - so far, so good! because we haven't done a thing! We figure we have well over a year so we're just going to enjoy being engaged. And, besides, one party at a time! But now that the engagement party is done, we should get going on all the little details for the big day.

In the meantime, enjoy a few pictures from our little photographer, Faith, Hai's niece.

2009-01-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

if only I were like Liv / Emma in Bride Wars and could tell you the specs off the top of my head.

We're Engaged!

2009-01-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

Last December, Hai and I went on a blitz, first-time trip to New York and Boston to visit some friends who recently moved out there last year.

We got into New York City on a Thursday night, welcomed by the cold, wind, and LOTS of rain. After visiting Times Square, having dinner, and checking out the beautiful Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, our friend, Kristine, generously offered to have us stay at her place for the night. So we headed over there to settle in and we experienced a "typical" New York apartment, if you will - no light in the bedroom that had a creepy, over-sized closet door; a whistling radiator that thankfully kept us warm all night; and a mysterious leak in the bathroom. We soon found out that the leak - which was now almost a waterfall - was coming from the light fixture in the ceiling! We managed to "MacGyver" a contraption that diverted the streaming water from the light fixture into the bath tub so it wouldn't flood the floor. Of course, as Murphy's law would have it, by the time we finished assembling it, the leak had stopped!

By the time we got through the plumbing fiasco, it was getting pretty late and Hai and I were exhausted from a full day of traveling.

We got ready for bed, and as I was checking my email on my phone, Hai rolls over and asks me, "Would you marry me?"
Totally unsuspecting, I reply, "Of course!" thinking that he was just making sure that I still love him, or something of that sort.
"Really?" he asked seriously.
"Yeah!" I replied jovially.
"Like right now?"
"Well, in 2010." I answered, thinking realistically in my personal timetable of life events.
"Okay..." and he rolls back over and I continue with my emails.
A minute later he gets out of bed, comes back, and asks me again, "No, really. Will you marry me?" and he shows me the ring!! I'm pretty sure I must have looked at him with an expression of something like "Why are you asking me again?" and "huh?!" and "seriously?!" because I asked him, "Are you sure?!" He said he was sure and, of course, I said yes!!!

I was very impressed by his ring selection - simple yet classy. He even got the band size right! He thought it was clever that he got the rock size the same as the band size; it's too bad I don't have bigger fingers! It was hard to really see the ring since there was no light in the bedroom. I had to admire the ring by the light from my phone until he brought out his headlamp to show me how beautiful it really was! He says that he chose a timeless design so that someday we'll be able to pass it down to our kids.

Still in shock, a couple minutes later, I asked him again, "Are you sure??" He reassured me, and told me that there was just something about that moment - after all the traveling/weather/plumbing fiasco - that just felt right, and at that moment it just felt like we could really do anything together. How can I say no to that?!

So now we're getting married!!! :o) We're planning an October wedding for 2010, and hope to be able to invite all of our friends and family to celebrate with us.

We hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the New Year!

Best Wishes,
Jaelyn Vale Cruz Acap
and
Hai Huu Nguyen
engaged
December 12, 2008